The Elephant & The Womb

September 18 2023 | Editorial                         Poll & Discussion

GOP On Pregnant Woman's Back
Instead of pushing them forward, the GOP has forged a reputation of being on the backs of pregnant women, pulling them backward

Hey there, freedom fanatics and liberty lovers! If you’re a dyed-in-the-wool conservative, you’ve probably heard the term “small government” more times than a bartender hears drink orders. So why the heck are we, the party of less intrusion, so keen on micromanaging uteruses?

The Contradiction: Big Gov in the Bedroom

Look, we’re the folks who get queasy at the thought of Uncle Sam peeking into our gun safes, but we’re A-OK with him policing ovaries? Seems like a crisscross of principles worthy of a square dance nobody wants to attend.

Moral High Ground vs. Personal Freedom

Sure, we’ve got a lot of religious and moral compasses pointing every which way. But hey, freedom of religion also means freedom from religion. Mandating one moral code over an entire nation? That’s not conservative; that’s authoritarian.

The Economics: Penny Wise, Pound Foolish

Want to yank the rug out from under abortion access? Congrats, you’ve just burdened the system with unplanned kids, many of whom will depend on social programs we claim to hate. It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face, then wondering why you can’t smell anymore.

A Tale of Two Voters

Heads up, buckaroos: Women vote. Women influence votes. And when you dig your heels into a stance that effectively negates their bodily autonomy, you’re not just pissing off half the population—you’re alienating future generations.

Downstream Effects: More than Just Abortions

Limiting abortion isn’t just about abortion; it’s about comprehensive healthcare for women. You start with restrictions here, and what’s next? We slide down that slippery slope faster than a greased-up pig at the county fair.

Listen to the Experts, Dammit!

Medical professionals, not politicians, should guide healthcare choices. Would you want your senator deciding the correct dosage of your medication? Didn’t think so. Why let them dictate healthcare procedures like abortion?

The Reversal Backlash: A Political Quagmire

So, the court says one thing, but the voters rise up and say another? That’s not just a slap in the face; that’s a wake-up call complete with airhorns and sirens. Ignoring the will of the people? That’s some risky business, folks.

The Bigger Picture: Public Opinion Matters‽

Gone are the days when we could sweep this under the rug. The public is vocal, information is rampant, and opinions are as plentiful as flies on a dung heap. Isn’t it about time we align ourselves with a viewpoint that respects individual freedoms?

The C-Word: Compromise is Not a Dirty Word

Listen up, it’s high time we found middle ground that respects a woman’s right to choose while accommodating various moral and ethical viewpoints. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, but you sure as hell can try to make a good one.

A New GOP: Guardians of Personal Autonomy

Here’s a novel idea: What if the GOP stood for something refreshingly forward-thinking, like the bodily sovereignty of women? Now that’s a platform even a die-hard conservative could get behind!

Conclusion: The Path Forward

Alright, you fine feathery flock of freedom fighters, let’s rally. Supporting women’s bodily autonomy doesn’t make us less conservative; it makes us champions of individual freedoms. It’s time to adapt, evolve, and give that dusty ol’ GOP platform a spit-shine it so desperately needs.